Amendmeant

Watch as I attempt to squeeze even more truth into some of the truest words of wisdom ever uttered. A challenge indeed. Send your Potent Quotes to amendmeant@gmail.com.

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Potent Quote:

Like Jesus, Joe has also been spotted on toast* (seriously, click image for proof)

“Let me give you another extremist view, In God We Trust. Say that too loud in some parts of America and you will be shot. It’s terrible.”

- and -

“Why hasn’t he [Senator Chris Dodd] been strung up?”

- Joe the Plumber, respectively decrying and endorsing murder

Potent Analysis:

It’s easy to miss the context by focusing on the seemingly contradictory and hypocritical aspects of Joe the Plumber’s statements. On the one hand, Joe appears to be against homicidal religious intolerance, while on the other, he seems to embrace at least 2 of those words quite strongly.

Joe’s unanswered contradictions are not unlike a similar situation found in the Bible. In Matthew, Jesus doesn’t wait for the Pharisees to question him, but instead points out two Old Testament passages that appear to be contradictory. The Pharisees agree that the competing scriptures are troublesome, and wait to hear Jesus’ explanation.

So what was Jesus’ answer to the conundrum?

Nothing.

He doesn’t give one. Deep.

And if there’s anyone that’s earned the same level of careful oratorical examination it’s Joe. Let’s plumb shoulder deep into Joe’s words and pull out the soap-scummed hairball of truth that’s clogging your understanding. Stay with me here, this gets tricky:

a) Statistics show that almost no one in America has been shot for saying In God We Trust.

b) Senator Chris Dodd (D – Conn.) is mired in a complex situation regarding his role in executive bonus protections in the stimulus bill, which prompted Joe’s comments that he should be hanged.

c) Statistics also show that people are shot constantly over money.

d) American currency contains the phrase In God We Trust.

Put all those facts together and here’s what you get:

Only a moron would say that saying In God We Trust will get you shot in America, and since Joe the Plumber is obviously not a moron, he must have been referring to violence related to money, which of course contains the words In God We Trust. Since Senator Dodd is embroiled in a money related battle, Joe is subtly connecting the ridiculousness of killing over saying “In God We Trust” (aka money) too loudly with the a warning to Senator Dodd that he might be killed by extremist wackos.

“Why hasn’t he been strung up?” Joe asks. Afterall, if you say In God We Trust “too loud in some parts of America… you will be shot. It’s terrible.” Consider it a Jesus-style indirect warning from your not-so-average Joe.

Potent Facts:

- Jesus is considered to be the Son of God by about 1 billion people worldwide.

- Joe the Plumber is a plumber. Jesus was a carpenter.

- Joe the Plumber does not have a plumbing license. Jesus did not have a carpenter license.

* Rejected picture caption: Joe warns that Dodd may be toast