Possible Explanations – Sarah Palin’s Resignation

When your heroes let you down, don’t fret – there’s always an explanation. Afterall, it’s not like heroes are fallible.

Why Sarah? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! There must be a logical explanation. Let’s

Palin is like a fish outta water, and she's bringing the rest of the fish with her.

Palin is like a fish outta water, and she's bringing the rest of the fish with her.

explore the possibilities…

  • Being Governor ages you prematurely; and Palin’s gotta look good for 2012. Such a forward thinker.
  • She’s pregnant and needs to spend time coming up with ridiculous names for her child. Such a caring mother.
  • Like any good point guard, she’s leaving in the middle of the 3rd quarter with a huge lead to give less experienced players a chance. Such a dominating, yet thoughtful performer.
  • She once said: “I’ve been so focused on state government, I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.” Well now she had more time to focus. Such a decisive prioritizer.
  • She realized that what she thought was Russia was really her neighbor’s house, so she no longer needs to protect Alaska in case “Putin rears his head.” Such a decisive re-prioritizer.
  • Upon quitting, Palin said: “Only dead fish go with the flow.” She then realized that fighting upstream to spawn also leaves you dead, so she decided to quit being a fish. Such an astute interpreter of nature.
  • Speaking to her constituents, Palin said: “I like being here because it seems like here and in our last rally too — other parts around this great Northwest — here in New Hampshire you just get it.” Obviously she made a mistake. She wanted to serve in the Northeast, not the Northwest where Alaska is. Such an easy mistake to make.

There, now I feel better now. PALIN 2012!