Amendmeant

It’s commonly known that a picture is worth a thousand words. But with the advent of Photoshop, those thousand words can be as subjective as the truth you want to fabricate requires ( or at least as far as your brush tool skills can take you).

I attempted to nudge a picture of Barack Obama into a visual realm where at least two of the thousand words used to describe it were “camel toe.” This was before I realized I don’t own Photoshop and was instead using the Dent tool in Photo Booth to mangle pictures of my own nether regions.

Eventually I found a visual medium aligned to my capabilities, leveraging it to express my long-held belief that Obama really does want change.

Behold:

Can you spare some?

That’s right, we elected a homeless man who simply wanted change. Instead we gave him the White House. Typical move by the Dems. When will they learn that we can’t solve the homeless problem by over-providing social services (like the presidency)?  It didn’t stop the root of the problem anyway – like all homeless people, Obama still wants more change. He’s insatiable!

Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, who prove that all great talk show hosts share names with great musicians, have once again done what other media pundits could not do: manufacture truth out of seemingly nothing.

Using their impeccable logic and use of totally non-hyperbolic metaphors, the Rush/Beck Supergroup has banded together to tell you how Obama means to use his new FCC Diversity Czar:

Bottom: Black man in culturally insensitive "white face"

“And this “diversity czar” comes from a fringe, radical, Saul Alinsky-type of background; and the things that he’s talking about doing — and I watched your show for the first half hour today — but the things he’s talking about doing to shut down radio are simply un-American. It’s not enough to say that it’s not constitutional. It’s simply un-American, and make no bones about it, folks, Glenn is right — and I think he’s maybe underselling a little bit about as far as their intentions are concerned…”

Ok… so maybe they’re not sure exactly what Obama’s going to do or how he’s going to do it, but he’ll do something, and you better believe that something will be as un-American as protesting anything during the Bush administration (or protesting nothing during the current administration).

But all the proof that’s needed is the Diverisy Czar’s first victim: the helpless, small-town software company Microsoft. The poor computer nerds that brought you the PC (which I believe stands for “Porn Collector”) are embroiled in a controversy over an apparently racist website photo. Microsoft was forced to apologize for “editing a photo to change a black man’s head to that of a white man.”

Yet the hands of the freshly whitened man in the photo remain black. This controversy has mixed-race president Barack Obama’s Oreo hands all over it: obviously he sent the Diversity Czar after Microsoft to promote racial diversity, thereby making Obama more appealing.

Not only that, but the picture only ran on the Polish version of the site, promoting the idea of foreigners, like Kenyan-born Obama, to silence the Birther movement. I have to admit, our President is one smart, illegitimate fascist.