5 More Weird Search Terms Used To Find My Blog

March 18, 2010

My readers are taking freedom of speech to whole new levels when searching for my blog. “Satin manties” just scratched the search term surface of weird things people Google to find Amendmeant.com.

Here are 5 more weird search terms from just the last week:

1) “schwarzenegger’s sexuality”

Preposterous. Schwarzenegger supports gay rights, therefore his hetero-cred can’t be questioned. Everyone knows that only anti-gay rights politicians are guaranteed to be fruiting the loom. Isn’t that right, Roy Ashburn?


2) megan fox bink – Bink?

I don’t even want to know what this person was really searching for, but I’ll defend to the death his right to be pervy.


3) cause of man turning blue

Besides holding his breath? Let’s see…

- Watching too much Avatar

- Joining the Blue Man Group

- Holy Papa Smurf, there’s actually a dude that’s blue.


4) transformers 2 best picture

Obviously this was the best picture of 2009. What’s weird is that it didn’t even get a nomination. Keep fighting the good fight anonymous Goolger.


5) only billy mays speaks in all caps

What a bold statement. This term-searcher isn’t asking Google for results; no, he/she is telling Google what the results should be. Don’t even think about including Lil Jon, Google. Billy Mays has been speaking in caps since before Lil Jon busted any.

Categories: Uncategorized

8 Weirdest Search Terms Used To Find My Blog

March 1, 2010

As my voracious readers know, my political philosophy is firmly entrenched in a deep foundation of Constitutionalism, even if that foundation acts as a bottomless pit of outdated and unnecessary literalistic rigor. To celebrate such rudderless rigor, I proudly present the terms readers Googled to reach my site that most shockingly represent the free speech given to us in all contexts thanks to the 1st Amendment. You people are truly an inspiration.

My readers make search results like this possible. Bravo, freedom fighters.

8 weirdest (therefore best) applications of 1st Amendment through search terms used to find this blog:

1)  fabio baby pictures

Just knowing people Googled it made me Google it too.

2)  “satin manties”

Was this an attempt at online shopping, or…  Also, don’t the quotes make the search seem even more dainty?

3)  peter pan illuminati

4)  twin blackfaced

The fact that this is past tense and singular makes me curious. Was the twin blackfaced against his/her will? Was the other twin spared?

5)  blood on cell phone

6)  powdered wig

7)  baconaise ingredients

There’s no bacon in Baconaise! I feel ripped off – or at least I would feel ripped off if I ever decided to torture myself with bacon flavored mayo.

8)  lucario’s penis

Lucario is a Pokemon. A penis is part of the male genitalia. The person who Googled this should be sent to jail. Or Japan. Or a Japanese game show where the loser has to go to jail dressed in a furry costume.

Categories: Uncategorized